Evan Sucks

#51

2008-08-25T08:34:00.001-07:00

Evan thinks the Chinese gymnasts are actually 16.

#50

2008-08-25T08:33:00.001-07:00

Evan roots against Michael Phelps.

-Saint

#49

2008-08-15T14:08:00.001-07:00

At the bar last week, Evan watched as a cop ordered chicken fingers. When the chicken fingers came out, Evan stole them, and then ate them.

#48

2008-07-25T12:06:00.003-07:00

AT&T knows that Evan sucks, and they don't want him to buy an iPhone, so they told him he has to pay $499 dollars for one while the rest of the country pays $299.

#47

2008-07-25T11:58:00.001-07:00

Evan likes Yoko Ono.

#46

2008-07-25T11:57:00.001-07:00

Evan bets on the Washington Generals every time they play the Harlem Globetrotters.

#45

2008-07-14T19:12:00.000-07:00

Evan is a lover, not a fighter.

He's not good at that either.

#44

2008-07-09T10:44:00.000-07:00

Evan's favorite T.V. show is Tyler Perry's "House of Payne."

#43

2008-07-07T07:49:00.000-07:00

Evan once wore a leprechaun-green, woman's suit and skirt for Halloween.

#42

2008-07-07T07:48:00.001-07:00

Evan gets confused sometimes and wears a belt on his head.

-Joe R.

#41

2008-07-07T07:33:00.001-07:00

Evan wears women's underwear. On the outside.

THIS JUST IN!

2008-07-05T18:05:00.000-07:00

Evan does indeed suck. a great deal.

More details to follow.

#40

2008-07-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

Evan rooted for the Red Coats in the Revolutionary War.

Happy 4th of July!

#39

2008-07-03T07:08:00.001-07:00

True story.

The domain "www.evansucks.com" is owned by a company. You can make a bid to purchase it if you go to the website. I made a bid of 20 dollars. This is the response I received.

"Hello Steve,

We have received your email regarding the domain EVANSUCKS.com.

The owner of the domain has listed the sales price of $ 1,650 for this domain."

COME ON! Who would pay $1,650 for that? What I want to know is who thinks anybody would pay that much for that domain?

#38

2008-07-03T06:33:00.000-07:00

Evan still plays in the ball pit in McDonald's.

#37

2008-07-02T21:30:00.000-07:00

Evan is responsible for Global Warming.

#36

2008-07-02T21:28:00.000-07:00

Evan actually believes that Al Gore invented the internet.

#35

2008-07-02T20:26:00.001-07:00

Evan drives in the carpool lane with a blow-up doll in the passenger seat.

#34

2008-07-02T20:25:00.000-07:00

Evan macrame'd himself a pair of jean shorts.

#33

2008-07-02T20:24:00.000-07:00

Apparently the people who own the rights to evansucks.com are asking 1650 dollars for it!

#32

2008-07-02T09:44:00.000-07:00

When Evan tickles "Tickle Me Elmo", Elmo punches him in the face.

-Chris S.

#31

2008-07-02T08:54:00.000-07:00

Evan thought Green Ketchup and Crystal Pepsi were great ideas.

-Steve K.

Picture #1 - Team Evan Sucks goes to the San Diego Zoo

2008-07-01T18:49:00.000-07:00

#30

2008-07-01T14:12:00.001-07:00

Evan thought Faceball would be a good way to meet girls around the dorm.

-Ali R.

#29

2008-07-01T12:47:00.001-07:00

Evan gave me a boy dog's name.

-Frisby the Cat

#28

2008-07-01T12:45:00.000-07:00

Evan stopped believin'.

-Journey

#27

2008-07-01T12:43:00.000-07:00

The one thing I won't do for love is hang out with Evan.

-Meatloaf

#26

2008-07-01T12:33:00.001-07:00

Evan is a communist.

-Steve's Dad

#25

2008-07-01T12:28:00.002-07:00

Evan shot the sheriff.

-Chris S.

#24

2008-07-01T12:28:00.001-07:00

Evan made me play kickball when I told him I didn't want to.

-Ali R.

#23

2008-07-01T12:03:00.001-07:00

Evan thinks we need less cowbell.

-Steve K.

#22

2008-07-01T08:51:00.001-07:00

Evan spelled backwards is Nave:

Nave: Nau"se*a\ (? or ?), n. [L., fr. Gr. ?, fr. ? ship. See Nave of a church, and cf. Noise.] Seasickness; hence, any similar sickness of the stomach accompanied with a propensity to vomit; qualm; squeamishness of the stomach; loathing.

Enough Said!

-Deepali

#21

2008-06-30T19:10:00.000-07:00

Evan really hoped they would never find Nemo.

-Steve K.

#20

2008-06-30T15:27:00.001-07:00

Mario Kart 64 Battle Mode: 32-1...enough said

-Brad H.

#19

2008-06-30T13:56:00.000-07:00

"Evan sucks because he is the greatest person to walk the planet and that just isn't fair."

-God

#18

2008-06-30T13:45:00.000-07:00

Evan will only play video games that he is good at so as not to admit that he sucks at everything else.

-Nikhil P.

#17

2008-06-30T13:37:00.001-07:00

He hit me with his clown car, Bubbles.

- Joe R.

#16

2008-06-30T13:25:00.000-07:00

"Is it worth it, let me work it
I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it"

Now imagine the previous statement, played entirely in reverse, in Microsoft Sound Recorder consistently for an ENTIRE SEMESTER.

-Brad H.

#15

2008-06-30T13:12:00.000-07:00

His favorite song is "La La" by Ashley Simpson

-Steve K.

#14

2008-06-30T13:09:00.001-07:00

Evan shot Bambi's mom.

-Nitin M.

#13

2008-06-30T12:51:00.001-07:00

Evan is already camped out waiting in line for Disney's "Beverly Hills Chihuahua."

#12

2008-06-30T12:37:00.000-07:00

He advertises this blog in his away messages.

#11

2008-06-30T10:35:00.000-07:00

You know the kid in class who would remind the teacher at the end of the day that she forgot to give out a homework assignment? That's Evan.

-Steve K.

#10

2008-06-30T10:34:00.001-07:00

Evan wants higher gas prices.

-Steve K.

#9

2008-06-30T10:33:00.001-07:00

He slaps people for no reason and then claims he was provoked.

-Nikhil P.

#8

2008-06-30T08:31:00.001-07:00

He ruins photos by jumping in the backgound and making a stupid face and/or throwing things at people.

-Alice R.

#7

2008-06-30T08:05:00.000-07:00

He makes outdated and confusing references to Duran Duran songs

-Matt C.

#6

2008-06-30T07:49:00.001-07:00

"He sucks because he can't handle my moves"

-Metaknight

#5

2008-06-30T07:33:00.000-07:00

Evan hates Raymond.

-Chris S.

#4

2008-06-30T07:24:00.001-07:00

I heard Evan rooted for Drago in Rocky IV.

-Saint

#3

2008-06-29T14:21:00.000-07:00

Freshman year of college, he would forget to call both me and John EVERY DAY to go to dinner.

Also, he told me I suck at playing the harmonica.

-Ali R.

#2

2008-06-29T14:17:00.000-07:00

Evan sucks because he drunk dialed me from Houston at 2:30AM to yell at me for not feeding our cat (which I did) or my other roommate Nikhil (he fed himself, he's quite capable). He then called back an hour later to leave me this message: "You, sir, are a scalawag."

-Steve K.

#1

2008-06-29T12:39:00.000-07:00

I wanted to play golf this weekend here in Atlanta. A few problems:

-My clubs are in Evan's trunk.
-Evan's car is right in front of our apartment.
-Evan is in Houston.
-Evan's keys are in his pocket, in Houston.
-His spare keys are in Alabama.

I am forced to play golf by creating a Frankenstein set of clubs from other dead sets. I borrow my friend's wife's putter (named the Golden Bear), and her sand wedge (named Tiara). I borrow my other roommate's irons, and use the woods from another set of clubs. I was fine with the other clubs, but Tiara and Golden Bear really screwed me.

Evan sucks.